3 comparison-focused paragraphs

I had given up on college. After two tries that ended in failed classes, wasted money, and depressed spirits, I decided college and I just did not fit together. Now, five years later, having experienced working in child care full time and unsuccessfully trying to get a job which was not in child care, I am entering the college community again. For some reason, when I turned twenty-six last October, I suddenly had a strong urge to have a college degree. I'm not afraid that there will be a disappointing result to my efforts like before, because I am different, and the college environment I'm choosing is different.

My first two attempts at college were at small liberal arts colleges where people took college very seriously. I find that being at a community college is a much more relaxed and encouraging experience for me. I know when I look around at the other students that I am in the company of many other people who also have hurdles to overcome in getting their education. I don't feel like such an oddball for finding college difficult. Also, the knowledge that people don't have very high expectations of me just lets me feel like I can breathe easy and do my work instead of worrying about whether or not I'm good enough. Another improvement to my environment is that I'm only taking two classes. I always took a full load before, and I think it was a wise decision for me to come back to college with only two classes, in order to not overwhelm myself.

When it comes to school, I am my own worst enemy. I cannot claim that I have overcome the perfectionism and anxiety that crippled me in my earlier college attempts, but I do know that I'm much more aware of them. I've learned to be my own life coach, encouraging myself with post-it notes of pithy wisdom, and journaling to work through frequent bouts of writer's block. Another big change in myself is that my motivation for getting a college degree is now coming from within myself, rather than from the social pressure of it simply being what I'm "supposed to do." The pressure to get a college degree came from my private high school, my degree-holding parents and older siblings, and that classic pressure from my friends of "everybody's doing it." I suppose these pressures motivate some people, but I guess I'm unusual because they just make me want to avoid my responsibilities by sleeping a lot and eating a lot of brownies. Perhaps my biggest asset for finishing my degree this time is just being older and wiser, and knowing that life isn't so much about doing things "the right way" or "the wrong way" Life is more about doing things, period. There is more wisdom in that Nike campaign than I ever realized. "Just do it," is my new life motto.